Revolutionary Reunion
by Guardian Dry Black
Summary: All I can say is, when trivial crimes commence, you'll get this story. Relish yet another one of my insane accounts...
1. Crime 1: Mouth Murder

Zombie: {plopping across the cemetery} Man it's a good day to walk the dead. {a dog with a shiny silver key flees by him} Dang Doopy must've stole somethin'.

Leon: {rushing after the thief} HELENA WE NEED THAT KEY!

Zombie: Dadgum! Man want Doopy gone. Dog don't got human traits human.

Helena: {exhausted} You, _wroo we I'm out of shape_, {catches her breath} you g-go and get him.

Zombie: Gal tire pa ha!

Helena: Keep walking.

Zombie: Walk!

Helena: {aims her hydra shotgun at him} You better leave before you die again.

Zombie: I'm 'bout ta sue you for everything you got!

She blasts his mouth clean off.

Zombie: {head bends to the floor} OWWWWW SHIT! DAMN MAN!

Helena: Sue that you nutcake.

Zombie: Soft balls of joy for broke mouth! You owe me soft balls of joy, for broke mouth!

Helena: {shoots again, but was empty} That's why Olympus has fallen. Nasty Zombie.

Zombie: SOFT, BALLS, OF JOY! FO' BROKE MOUTH!

Leon: {walking back in the scene spinning the key} Now, on to the Cathedral. {stares at the dead lunatic} What the hell is his problem?

Zombie: I got both y'all asses! Unless I get soft balls of joy, I will take you from all you got! Homeless ass PlayStation!

Helena: Please shut the hell up!

Leon: {slowly gathering red} What did you do to piss this thing off?

Zombie: {beats Helena to answer} She shot my mouth! I won't, soft balls of joy for broke mouth!

Helena: Go to Hell!

Zombie: SECURITY! MAX SECURITY! You broke my mouth! I want balls of joy for broke!

Helena: You disgusting freak!

Leon: {prepares to put this freak lifeless creature out of it's misery} You're dead and alive for too long.

Helena: Yeah Leon shoot his ass!

Zombie: Flesh taker! Lookin' like got-damn Undertaker.

Helena: Leon SHOOT HIS ASS! BUST A FUCKING CAP ON THIS DISSER!

Zombie: You can't handle the truth?

Leon: I want to know what the hell happened. I can't shoot unless I know what went down.

Helena: What's fucking there to know?!

Zombie: She's a molester! She needs to give me soft balls of joy to prevent ruined reputation!

Helena: I'm off limits!

Leon: You need to go.

Before he can pull the trigger, Soldier Majinis ambushes them from the misty fog and arrests all of them.

Zombie: Yea boy! Security's here man!

Soldier Majini 1: {boots the Zombie in the back} (SHUT UP!)

Helena: WHAT THE FUCK! I'M A COP!

Soldier Majini 2: {handcuffing her} (Bitch save it.)

Leon: My lucky day.

Soldier Majini 3: (You people don't know life.) {shoves Leon towards the jeep} (Get in there dammit!)

Helena: {glaring at the dead} You fucker.

Zombie: Soft balls of joy for broke mouth!

Helena: ENOUGH OF THAT!

Leon: Everybody shut the fuck up!

Soldier Majini 1: {hurls the light weight cavil Zombie in the jeep} (Now shut yo bullshit ass up! I'll be damn if I'm driving around with a damn bitcher!)

Zombie: I WANT SOFT BALLS OF JOY! FO' BROKE, MOUTH! Female-male who don't who her sex is broke my mouth!

Helena: GO FIND YOUR MOMMA!

Soldier Majini 2: (Man GET your caveman ass in here!)

Soldier Majini 1: {bashes some electricity in him and slams the door} (SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOU'RE BICKERING ASS!)

With everyone apprehended and roughly shoved in jeeps, off they go to court.


	2. Crime 2: Big PB Trouble in Little China

Chris: {chasing down Carla} Bitch you're dead!

Piers: {aiding the hunt} You're history woman!

Carla: {fleeing from the law} It's for the better future!

Chris: FUCK YOU!

Piers: TAKING OUT THE DAMN PRESIDENT IS FOR THE BETTER?!

Carla: Imbeciles! He DESERVE TO DIE! He made Raccoon city's peril and hid it from the world!

Chris: And you're doing better by infecting the whole world!

Carla: I'm done talking to you people!

Piers: Give us the luggage!

Chris: Piers, It's a case!

Piers: Looks like got-damn luggage to me!

J'avo: {gawking at his piggy bank} What beauty. Real beatific structure. Look at her. And it's mine and future generations.

Carla: {running by him} Kill those annoying pests!

Chris shoots at her and misses. It smashes the piggy bank to pieces.

J'avo: {on his knees crying over his destroyed possession} N-nooooooooo! Fackers! Stanking fackers!

Chris: My bad man.

J'avo: Damn right it's your bad!

Piers: We don't want no trouble.

J'avo: You broke my piggy bank! BROKE! Just BROKE!

Piers: Okay it's not that serious.

J'avo: Broke! You plicks are broke! Straight broke!

Chris: Fuck this low life we're losing her.

J'avo: SECURITY! Brokers I need SECURITY! Broke ass mother fackers!

Piers: This guy is pissed off over a piggy bank. Dude, cillax. It's just a piggy bank.

J'avo: BROKE, BROKE CHALKLATE FACKERS! This piggy bank is family. A got-damn milestone you understand. But you faggots broke! BROKE!

Carla: {returning from the shadows} Simmons will more than please to end this. Majinis!

They came from all corners and ruthlessly arrests all.

J'avo: They broke my shit master. Broke my shit broke!

Carla: Daddy will take care of it.

Chris: {wresting and glaring at Carla} You're loaded with shit lady!

Soldier Majini 1: (Struggling for freedom is pointless American!)

Piers: Shit head porn star!

Carla: I'm not the drag-queen from the past. If you want the public to know than by all means, piss me off.

Piers: {trying to break free for her death} Bitch that wasn't me! You don't know shit about me!

Carla: Government hacking will inform you wonders.

Chris: What are your plans Incredible Hulk?

Carla: Simple, take you fleas to jail and watch you rot. {walks away} Take them away.

Chris: You fucking SLUT!

Piers: Damn cow! You're just a damn cow!

J'avo: {wresting and humping} BROKE! BROKE!

Chris: This Chinese fag had to call the fez.

Piers: Man we're the fucking fez Chris!

J'avo: BROKE ASS FACKERS! BROKE! You just "BROKE" and cheap! Fragile broke! Mad broke! Jealous broke! You soldiers are just real, real broke! Broke ass mingles! BROKE!

Chris: You sound like a fucked up record.

Soldier Majini 3: {shoves Chris towards the jeep} (Nigga keep on walking!)

J'avo: BROKE!

Soldier Majini 2: (Chinese shut the hell up with your broken language!)

J'avo: These American soldiers broke my generation possession. Milestone hijackers!

Soldier Majini 2: (I don't give a rat's ass about your life and their transgressions! My job is to arrest all fuckers within the requested location! Your condemns are up to the judge so chat with that nig face fucker.)

Chris: {Wrest free} I CAN WALK!

Soldier Majini 3: {points at the jeep} (Then WALK!)

Piers: Chris, this is some bullshit! Going to jail?! People I'm BSAA!

Soldier Majini 4: (Nigga I don't care if you're FBI or IRS! We're arresting all fuckers you understand?!)

Piers: And learn this language called "English!"

Soldier Majini 4: {boots Piers shin out of spite} (And learn not so over talk yourself! Well you're a dumb white fuck so I can't look pass you.)

With everyone apprehended and roughly shoved in jeeps, off they go to court.


	3. Crime 3: Corrupted Constitution

Mercenary J'avo: {in his white sports car bopping and signing to some music} "And we are."

Regenerator: {on the passenger side rapping it out} "The coolest motherfuckers on the planet."

Mercenary J'avo: "In my mind!"

Regenerator: "The sky is falling ain't no need to panic."

Mercenary J'avo: "But Oh oh!"

Regenerator: "I got a stick and want yo automatic."

Mercenary J'avo: "Oh oh oh!"

Regenerator: "Compatible created in the attic."

Mercenary J'avo: Man that Outkast bra. He's the shit. {inhales some grass} And this stuff. *cough, cough*

Regenerator: {becomes a perv when Sherry walks by} Goodness gracious. Lass got it on.

Mercenary J'avo: {stares too} Good God almighty! Where's my Viagra?!

Regenerator: Nigga you know yo soldiers still march. You not old yet.

Mercenary J'avo: Well she took away my days then 'cause I'm old as hell.

Regenerator: Bra you funny ha ha.

Mercenary J'avo: {lets down the window and sticks his head out; releasing happy smoke for others to breath in} Yo girl!

Sherry: {not turning back} Not now!

Mercenary J'avo: {drives up to her} You know damn well I was talking to you!

Regenerator: Show respect nig!

Sherry: {covers her nose from the grassy scent} I got things to do! Shove off!

Mercenary J'avo: {presents a bag of grass} Want this hit? I called it the Lincoln Burden. Grass from Abraham himself! It came from his crib, made from his hands yo.

Regenerator: Female know history!

Sherry: You sound and look like fools! He was our president that fought for the abolition of slavery. He did "not"...

Mercenary J'avo: {flinches from this bark} Girl don't do that!

Regenerator: Man jumpy.

Sherry: How rude. Let a lady finish her speech!

Regenerator & Mercenary J'avo: {look at each other then at her} DAAAAAAMN!

Mercenary J'avo: Well shit finish.

Regenerator: You have the right to talk.

She just glares at them with her hands on her hips.

Mercenary J'avo: Damn. I never thought in my life a girl will look at me like that.

Regenerator: Man back in two-thousand n' five, this red chick named Ada looked at me with dat face you doin' right now lass. All I can say is you woman are funny. {trying to hold back his laughter} I mean you females are {unexpectedly let's it out} OH SHIT! YO! {laughs so hard he opens the door and rolls all over}

Mercenary J'avo merely smiles trying to fight laughing wildly, but later gives in and laughs it all out with wild claps.

Sherry: IT'S NOT FUNNY! You people need to stop smoking reefer!

Jake: {coughs from the smoke} Sherry!

Sherry: Jake?!

Jake: What the hell is goin' on here?!

Sherry: These hijackers tried to force me to smoke grass!

Jake: WHAT?! {yanks the J'avo out the car through the window} So, you no life freak want to fuck with my girl huh.

Mercenary J'avo: This is United States of America! You about to violate my rights! I worked hard for you younglings freedom and this is what I get! A beat down from a got-damn lie!

Jake: And why should I believe shit you say? You're a dope head infection that want to infect others.

Mercenary J'avo: I'm a US citizen! Kicking my ass means I have the "right" to sue you for all you got!

Jake: Oh I would like to see that.

Sherry: {brings out her stun rod} I would like to see that too.

Regenerator: Oh shit I'm in trouble. {flees off} NIGGA YOU ON YOUR OWN!

Mercenary J'avo: PUSSY!

Jake: After I beat the shit out of you, I will then pee all on your jacked up face.

Mercenary J'avo: That's a fucking violation of one's physics! My right says that none, shall not harm me! I'm a damn diplomat!

Jake: Man shut that government shit up! Like it matters.

Sherry: Just kick his ass!

Jake: Woman I got this!

Mercenary J'avo: SECURITY! I need that George Washington security too! He don't want people to hate! He want life time supply of peace!

Jake: I had enough of your bullshit! {prepares to blow his face up}

Mercenary J'avo: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! USA INDEPENDENCE!

Sherry: SHUT HIS LACK HISTORY ASS UP!

Next thing you know, Soldier Majinis bust through every window, crowds the ally and arrests everyone for the third time.

Jake: REALLY?!

Sherry: I'm INNOCENT! WE SERIOUS?!

Mercenary J'avo: YEAH HAHA! Security knows when to come save an American.

Soldier Majini 3: {smacks the back of J'avo's head} (Shut that American shit up!)

Jake wrests free and rages on the Majinis. He was doing well until a club slams itself on his head.

Soldier Majini 4: {the one that did him in} (Now carry this roach on.)

Sherry: NOOOOOOO JAAAAAKE!

Soldier Majini 2: (Banshee shut the fuck up and go!) {shoves her in the jeep} (Now don't screen you high pitch dog whistle!)

Jake: Tar drinking fuckers!

Soldier Majini 4: (And you love to spray Raid all in your mouth.) {presents him the jeep} (Haul ass in there!)

Mercenary J'avo: (Did you know these young fucks stole my freedom?!)

Soldier Majini 3: {gets in his face} (THE HELL IF I KNOW!) {slings the jeep's door open} (GET!)

Mercenary J'avo: {reluctantly climbs in} Man this ain't right. I'm the United States! I'm an all American hawk! I'm liberal with liberty!

With everyone apprehended and roughly shoved in jeeps, off they go to court.


	4. Last Crime: When Crabs Fight

Ada and Carla engage themselves in a furious brawl and I mean it was furious. They was scratching, performing martial arts, yanking hair and hurling themselves around by wrapping one legs across another's neck. Bloodshot and his skeletal friend are above them ten yards high just observing the fight.

Zombie: Man there's nuthin better than two women in dresses going off.

Bloodshot: Yeah boy I smell panties flying off. And we came at the right place at the right time. {grabs a water balloon} Time to wet our chicks.

Zombie: {grabs one filled with blood} Yea-ha-ha-haaaah.

Ada: {takes a fan kick} You will die!

Carla: Bitch, you foiled my plans. Get up and die!

Bloodshot: Put blood on them.

Zombie: Yeah I got you. {drops one off} They want this.

Bloodshot: Whey need liquid.

It splashes all on Ada's head.

Carla: {glaring at the balcony} What the fuck?

Ada: OH, MY, GOD! WHAT IS THIS?!

Trouble makers runs in the hotel laughing wildly.

Ada: THIS IS NOT FUNNY! PUSSY ASS MOTHER FUCKERS!

Carla: Fuck them. I declare you dead. {water balloon explodes on her face; she blows out some water out her nose}

Ada: Let, us, FIGHT! You immature mother fuckers! {one blows her butt up} AHHHHHHHH!

Bloodshot: Pa ha ha! We're fucking them up! {hurls one off} Bitches go make porn somewhere else! {hurls another}

Zombie: It's one in the morning and you people will rather fight than sleep. {throws one} Nigga back dat shit up! Even the dead need some rest. {drops one off}

The Adas are soaked in blood and water.

Ada: Pussy ass bitches! {storms in the hotel}

Carla: You think this is over?! {charges in after her}

Bloodshot: {hearing destruction in the lower level} They so love each other.

Zombie: {smiling from their grunts, yells, and other noises they moan out} That's straight fuck. Man let's wet these bitches to death.

Carla: {hits the floor after taking a hard slap} That was weak. {spits blood at her}

Ada: Hitting the floor. Yeah that was weak as hell. You tore my gown up and I spent good money on this!

Carla: Fuck your life! What about mine huh?! With your deranged ass. You made me look bad!

Ada: Bitch! You the fake! You giving "me" hell!

Carla: Trick you sent Chris and Piers to haul my ass all over China!

Ada: Don't mistake me for HQ! That's them fuckers that tracked your every movement!

Carla: Heifer please. I know a lier when I see one.

Ada: {yanks a whip out} Bitch bring it!

Carla: Put it up! You might hurt yourself!

Ada: {kicks Carla over on her stomach} Feeble ass bitch. You're that weak to continue?! Fine.

Carla: {coughs from the strike holding the pain} Bitch you can't even pick up a small twig.

Ada Puts her on her leg and folds the whip for some old school discipline.

Carla: I'm too old for this shit.

Ada: No one's too old for discipline.

Carla: {like a bad kid pleading for freedom} NO PLEASE! I CAN BE GOOD! PLEASE DON'T NO! You want some money?!

Ada: SHUT UP!

Carla: I'm serious! We can work this out please! Come on let's talk this out like grown ups!

Ada: I can't see myself making deals with my darkside whose heart is set on bringing Hell in our world.

Carla: Okay I will take all blame! Go to jail! Serve some time! Please! Please! PLEASE DON'T SPANK ME!

Ada: Oh you won't sweet talk out of this one. {lifts her dress up and whips the mess out of revealing content} No panties?! NASTY ASS BITCH!

Carla: {screaming at the top of her lungs} NOOOOOOOOOOO! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

The mischievous zombies slops in and drops their balloons from this family beating.

Bloodshot: Yo she's whooping that ass like it's family!

Zombie: I knew they got some blood! Family issues bra, family turmoil.

Carla's voice ties itself in a knot, preventing her from screaming any longer than she have to. She constantly taps the floor, telling Ada she won now stop.

Ada: {shoves Carla off her leg} You better not till the end of time, try me like that again! {glares at dumb and dumber} You brats wait your turn.

Bloodshot: Man you wait. {looks at some nips} Clean yourself up woman you're exposed.

Zombie: {smacks his lips for some milk} You want a titty job?

Ada disbelieving glares at them.

Ada: Just fuck off.

Carla: My ass! My ass is on fire!

Ada: Shut the fuck up!

Bloodshot: {leaving and signing} Tire of livin' fo' e'ryday like e'rythang al-ight! e'rythang just one thang-jiga jig, mine!

Zombie: {following his buddy's footsteps} Life been promised ma'! I want those pants jah! All day daddy, to you fanny! All day daddy, to you fanny! All day daddy, to you fanny!...  
Bloodshot: By yo twenty! Be yo twenty! By yo twenty! Be yo twenty!...

Ada: _What the hell did they drink? If that's from Arbor Mist, lord help me._

Five hours later, Bloodshot wakes up to use the restroom.

Bloodshot: {swaying to his destination} "Ain't no body dope as me, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Just so fresh so clean!"

Carla: {sees him} H-help m-meeeee. My asssssss still burns.

Bloodshot: {stops} Woman you evil. Evil don't know pain. Shit you're a damn zombie git outta here! {resumes his thing} "Don't you think I'm so sexy, IIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Just so fresh so clean!"  
Carla: W-what about getting your l-life back?! {agony comes in contact with the floor} AH SHIT! YEAH IT'S STILL HERE! GO AWAY! LORD YOU DID ENOUGH! PLEASE LET ME GOOOOOOOOOO-AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bloodshot: Ain't, got, tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime, ah, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I said, I don't, got tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- {gets on his knees} HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Agent: {not far from Bloodshot peeping through a crack in the door} Oooooooh yeah. {beckons at what's he's perving at}"Come to daddy."

Bloodshot: Nigga you nasty as fuck!

Agent: Bra get out of here. Watching a woman dressing up for the day is an immediate turn on! {moving his neck to the side and down} Goodness gracious she's about to put on some pants!

Bloodshot: {automatically shoves Agent away} You said jeans!? Nigga it better not be my jeans! {glares in the crack and becomes piss the fuck off from Ada pulling up her black tights over her curves with tightening her belt} NOOOOOO! MINE JEAAAAAAANS!

Ada: THE HELL?! {swiftly turns and spots this red thing in the crack} NIGGA GO AWAY! FIND HELL AND COOK YOUR ASS YOU PERVERT!

Bloodshot: You're in my jeans! Those are mine! JEANS!

Ada: I had about enough of you. {storms away}

Bloodshot: Bitch come back here! Take my jeans off and wear your skin! You know fucking what, replace those bitches with your whole wallet! Crab giving mother fucker! Gonna put on my jeans that "I", fought hard for! MY, JEANS!

Ada: {comes back, gets low and focuses her crossbow at the mad man's head} I'll give you about three seconds to fuck off!

Bloodshot: No bitch! How 'bout I give your ass ten seconds to strip your stank self free from my jeans! Or face the fuckin' consequences!

Ada: Nigga please! These are not jeans! These are pants for women you miserable piece of shit!

Bloodshot: I don't want your crabs! Keep those fuckers! I want jeans! NEW jeans from yo' check!

Ada: TRICK!

Bloodshot: BITCH! You wore my jeans! Police! Bitch got my jeans and smiling all in my face! She put them over her hermes infected ass and smiled! She got my jeans!

Ada: STOP DRINKING BEER! IT'S PISS THAT WILL PISS YOU OFF!

Bloodshot: I don't want to hear nothing from you! Jean wearing crab charity contributor. Contribute your account on my new jeans! I want my jeans by tomorrow!

Ada: LIKE MY DAY DIDN'T FACE ENOUGH SHIT! GOOD NIGHT AND GOODBYE! {blasts the arrow at him and it unexpectedly breaks} AHHHHHHHHH! {hurls her weapon out the window} How much more bullshit I must go through to get a GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP?!

Carla: {brings this water cube out} You too know something about "security." Majinis, arrest all in the requested area!

Bloodshit: Just buy me my jeans and you can sleep like you're buried. I want, my jeans. Now!

Ada: {goes insane} FUCK YOU!

Bloodshot: {backing off from Ada's maniacal appearance} You going mad will not free you. You will {flees off from this wolf} buy my jeans!

Ada: {charges after meat} I'll see you dead!

Bloodshot: HOLY SMOKES OF UNITED KINGDOM! You're fast slow down!

Ada: I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR MOUTH! SHUT! UP!

Bloodshot: I WANT MY JEANS!

Ada: You're get 'em through DEATH!

Bloodshot: {rams through a door} GET OFF MY ASS!

Ada: JUST DIE AND I SHALL!

Woman: {hops off her bed} What in gods name?!

Man: {drops his wine from Bloodshot's rush by him} Damn man! {Ada gives him a cocktail in a bottle} Thanks sexy now I'm happy.

Bloodshot: JEANS!

Ada: NO!

Bloodshot: JEANS!

Ada: FUCK YOU!

Zombie: {walking in his sleep barely seeing these two cars speeding by} Mario is out-runnin' Sonic! Mario rules SEGA!

Bloodshot: {rams another door and hauls downstairs} I WANT MY GOT-DAMN JEANS!

Ada: {cartwheels in front of him} Stop sounding like a broken record.

Bloodshot: {brings his arms out} What! You wanna go?! {bangs his chest} BRING IT ON BITCH!

Ada: {loads up her Ammo Box 50 then aims it at his brains} Fool. It's your grave.

Bloodshot: {dodging side to side} Bitch back up! BACK! JEANS!

Ada: {having a hard time staying on his head} Stand still! You're in the wrong!

Bloodshot: Bitch! You a psychotic butch that kicked your own ass! How the fuck can you do that?!

Ada: You know that was another person! By gobs stand the fuck STILL!

Bloodshot: Work for this trash! {trips off over the rail} OHHHHHHHHH! {Majini catches him} Now that's gangsta! Police is here bitch you're in some trouble now ha! {Majini drops him} Do you want to buy me a new pair of jeans too?! Respect the citizens!

Soldier Majini 1: (Nigga shut that shit up.)

Ada: More blood for me then. {falls on the steps from a harsh boot to the back} OWW WHAT THE FUCK! I TOOK ENOUGH LICKS FOR TODAY!

Soldier Majini 4: {handcuffing her} (Yeah I see that. You kicked our master's ass you slut!)

Carla: {coming to Ada being carried by her minion} Say goodbye to your life you fake ass trashcan.

Ada: You called these fucks to arrest?!

Carla: And just like criminals, you will face time in prison.

Ada: GO TO HELL!

Carla: You first. Take me away from this filth. {laughs evilly}

Soldier Majini 3: {carrying Carla away from Ada} (I shall execute your death sentence bitch. No one beats down our master like this!)

Ada: If you can't talk English, cut your mouth off and shove it where it belongs! Which is your stankin' ass!

Soldier Majini 3: {stops} (Do you want to die now?!)

Carla: Ignore her! TAKE HER ASS TO JAIL NOW!

Bloodshot: {in the jeep glaring at Ada} NEW PAIR OF JEANS! I want my jeans! I need my jeans! Give me my got damn jeans!

Ada would've given him the finger if she could.

Bloodshot: Givin' my shit hermes and crabs! Herpes ass son of a bitch! Persisted stank ass mother fucker!

Soldier Majini 2: (NIGGA SHUT THE HELL UP!)

With everyone apprehended and roughly shoved in jeeps, off they go to court.


End file.
